Maybe – out in the big wide world beyond us – we will run into each other again. If we do, I hope that by then we can both look back at this time and be able to laugh at whatever pain we have caused each other.
I really hate people. Of all the people I hate, god, you are one of my favourites.
So here is to all the things we never got around to doing: the chess games I would have lost to you, the dinners you would have helped me make, the random [yet altogether precise] daylong conversations we would have had, the ‘title of your sex-tape’ jokes I would have nailed, the really good whiskey we would have had, the strip-clubs we would have become patrons of, the unicorns we would have tamed, the dragons we would have slain… here is to all the grand adventures we would have taken.
I will always think about you and feel about you the way I did that Thursday evening we went out to dinner for the first time. Your friends had spent the weekend in Bahrain, and we ended up having far too many drinks, and we talked for hours, how you made me laugh! I felt so awful when you insisted to pay for everything, and in that same moment I knew that I would spend months offering to cook dinner until I would have made and appropriate amount of dinners to no longer feel guilty. How the restaurant eventually turned us out, and we sat in the lobby – you fighting to stay awake but saying nothing – as we watch the hotel slowly close down. How everything slowed, how it was far too late in the morning far too soon, and how we walked under the warm glow of streetlights that faded into the canopy of a lightening sky. How you opened your arms and said “Come here. Hug?” as the second cab pulled up to the curb, and all the strangeness of you had fallen away, and the feeling that I could be simply be myself around you, and how you made me feel just a little less alone.
“Sometimes you meet someone, and it’s so clear that the two of you, on some level belong together. As lovers, or as friends, or as family, or as something entirely different. You just work, whether you understand one another or you’re in love or you’re partners in crime. You meet these people throughout your life, out of nowhere, under the strangest circumstances, and they help you feel alive. I don’t know if that makes me believe in coincidence, or fate, or sheer blind luck, but it definitely makes me believe in something.”